Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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