ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You don't make any sense
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