in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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