As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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