Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
