This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
