my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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