Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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