belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Randomize
