I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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