I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
