her vagine was all disorganized.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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