I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize