Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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