My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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