I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
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Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
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Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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