And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
