I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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