I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
