i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize