I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
