So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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