Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
