Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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