That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize