He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Randomize
