Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
