butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
