I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize