he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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