You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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