As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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