I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
