i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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