...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
