So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
