he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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