yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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