i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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