What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
