I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize