After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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