He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
