he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
