i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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