We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
