at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
