All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
