and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
