Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Do you still have your period?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
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The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
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i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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