Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
