Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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