Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
